Maelstrom
by The Last
Summary: Life's lessons are harshly dealt... and sometimes fatal. The Titans struggle to live and learn with the pain of the past. [Chap. Seven] Five years since she left and Fate's not done screwing up her life. [Complete]
1. Downward Spiral

**Disclaimer**: Please stop making me write these... I start crying when I have to realize that I don't own Teen Titans.

**Warnings**: This fic takes place before Betrayal and all following episodes. Terra's true nature will be revealed next chapter (and there will be bashing). _...And time goes by..._ is a line break.

**Pairings:** If I told you now it would ruin the plot... So just hold on!

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**Chapter One**: Downward Spiral 

Slade's hand wrapped around her throat, effortlessly holding her above the floor. The lack of oxygen started to kick in, stars and black clouds crowding her vision. Raven clawed at his hands, mouth opening in a futile effort to breathe. The eyes behind the mask were hard, relentless as she felt numbness spread through her struggling, thrashing body. Her eyes were wide as unconsciousness swept in, and as she felt her power coil to unleash, they flashed black. Slade's eyes narrowed and he jerked his arm, slamming her into the wall. Her power dissipated and he smirked, throwing her into the opposite wall like a rag doll. She hit it and slid down, eyes closing as Slade's boots stopped in front of her crumpled heap.

_...And time goes by..._

"We're home!" Beast Boy opened the door, stepping into the common room as Cyborg, Robin and Terra tottered in with giant stacks of grocery bags. Starfire was rummaging around in one, tongue stuck out in concentration. The sound of eggs breaking as a grocery bag hit the floor made them look up. Beast Boy had dropped his bags, standing stone still, horror in every line of his tense body. They froze too when they saw the state of the room.

There was glass everywhere. Anything that could be broken, was. The couch was ripped apart, wood slivers littering the floor among metal shards. It hadn't been a tornado- it had been a maelstrom.

"Raven?" Robin's voice was the only sound.

Starfire gasped, hand going to her mouth as the other pointed shakily. There, in a shadowed corner, was a crumpled blue cloak.

Beast Boy was there in a flash, crouching beside it as he reached out, and stopped. "Raven?" The cloak was draped over her still frame, arms and legs tangled and limp, eyes closed. "Rae?" Cyborg picked her up, the cloak wrapped around her, and brought the empathic teen to the middle of the room where there wasn't too much debris. The five huddled around her, fear for their friend evident.

She threw her torso upright, gasping as violet eyes saw some horror invisible to them. As she threw her arms up, the cloak was pulled away from her frame and they stared. Carved into her body was a sharp, brutal S.

Black power collected around her, swirling as her eyes flickered to red. Her arms blocked most of her face, but fear, and anger, were plain. "SLADE!" The scream ripped from her, power blasting outwards.

"Raven!" Cyborg's voice cracked her delirium. She shuddered, lowering trembling limbs. Raven looked around, not seeing them for a moment, and then focused.

"He's-he's gone." She whispered, strangely vulnerable. Robin grabbed her shoulders and she flinched. With one hand he turned her head up. A large, hand shaped purple bruise was spread over her grey skin.

"Slade got in?" She nodded, waiting to move until he took his hand away. "But there were no alarms, no signs of forced entry- how did he?" The Boy Wonder got up and went to the last salvageable computer left in the room. Typing furiously, he frowned at the screen.

"Security cameras confirm he was here," Cyborg said, looking at his scanners. "But how?" Raven grabbed her cloak and drew it around her.

"I don't know. But he was here- and he took me by surprise."

"We have to go after him," Robin said, shutting off the computer. Beast Boy glared at him.

"We can't leave! Does Raven _look_ like she's in any condition to fight?"

"She can stay," Robin snapped, the hint of concern softening the sharp reply. "But Slade is making trouble on the other side of town." Raven brushed off Beast Boy's hand and rose shakily, nearly collapasing. Terra grabbed her arm to help her and Raven didn't resist, just kept walking to her room. A moment later Terra returned and they took off.

_...And time goes by..._

The Slade-bots were destroyed, all except for one. It twisted Beast Boy's arm, whispering into his ear.

"And how is Raven, Beast Boy? Has she given into her dark side yet?" Starfire's starbolts blasted it before it could say anything else.

"Are you okay, man?" Cyborg's face shoved itself into the spinning sky.

"Uh… yeah. I think so." Terra helped him up, her warm presence distracting him from the troubling thought. _Has she given into her dark side yet?_

That night Raven didn't come to dinner, but Starfire brought her some soup and said she was okay, just tired.

It was another day before she came out and anything happened.

Raven stepped quietly out of her room, tired but ready to emerge. Walking near soundlessly down the hall, she was about to turn down another corridor when she heard Terra speaking softly to someone. Frowning, she came closer to the blond teen, who had her back to Raven.

"Why didn't you get rid of her?" Terra hissed vehemently.

"Because, dear child, it will be much more enjoyable this way. And more final than killing her outright." Raven's eyes widened. That was **Slade** Terra was talking to, over some kind of communicator. She froze.

"But she's so annoying! Sometimes I think she can really read my mind. And so _creepy_." Terra's whining voice was cut off as Raven's power enveloped and crushed the thing in her hand to dust. Terra spun, surprised by her appearance.

"Traitor. Bitch. You've been with Slade all along!" Raven's normally monotone voice rose, anger flaring. The blond smirked.

"So little Ravie figures it out, huh? And what if I have? At least he's better than your pitiful little friends. What are you going to do about it, Satan spawn?" Raven's eyes widened and turned red, the betrayal hurting as she turned on the girl who used to be her friend.

"I TRUSTED YOU!" Terra didn't even flinch as Raven grew, black tendrils reaching for her. At that moment, roused by the commotion, Beast Boy and the other Titan's raced to their corner. All they saw was a demon Raven, Terra struggling in her power. Changing into a rhino Beast Boy rammed her and Raven, thrown off balance, faltered, black glow dropping Terra. Starfire grabbed the falling Titan as Beast Boy turned human, standing in front of Terra with his arms outstretched.

"Get lost Raven! And don't ever come back!"

Raven shrank, shaking herself once as her eyes turned back to violet. She saw Beast Boy protecting Terra, the other Titan's distrustful and angry glares. Lost for words Raven stood, Terra's smirking face mocking her from behind Beast Boy.

"Beast Boy, she's really-" The fury in Beast Boy's snarl hit her like a whip.

"I saw you attacking her- _giving into your dark side._ Get lost, Raven. I don't want to see you again." Stunned, she started to stretch out an arm but was stopped by the glow of Starfire's starbolts. Sick at heart, the dark teen stared at the girl who was like a sister standing ready to destroy her. Soul deep agony filled her next words, laced with bitterness.

"Then be happy, Beast boy. For my sake." With that her cloak twisted around her, black and white disappearing.

Beast Boy dropped to his knees next to Terra, turning to her scared, helpless face.

"It's okay. She won't hurt you again." He pulled her into a hug. Terra smirked into the air where the former Titan had been.

"I know."

_...And time goes by..._

Raven sat, back against the rocky wall of the cave. Her hood pulled up, the anguished teen huddled underneath her cloak in the cave where they had found Terra. Irony was only a vague thought to her now. A single tear slid down her cheek and into the dim light coming from the cave mouth.

"Be happy, Beast Boy. For my sake." The whisper echoed dully in the winding depths if the cave.

Moments, minutes, hours passed before the crunch of gravel interrupted her silence. Slade stood in the inky depths of the cave, one eye glinting dangerously.

"Raven." Black fire sprang into existence around her hands.

"Slade. You bastard." She lunged, passing into the air where he would have been. His hand connected with her back, knocking her aside. She dropped and rolled, coming up on her feet, Facing him, Raven felt her anger rise. "Son of a bitch- you've ruined my life. Why the hell did you have to do that? And now you're going to make them-him- hurt!" Rocks tumbled down onto him, assisted by her power. Hair flying, she took a page out of Terra's book and started to bring the whole mountain down on them. Slade appeared beside her, foot kicking her into a stalactite. A cry escaped her lips before she yanked, the power choking him in bands. His fingers flicked a bomb at her and Raven dived out of the way, eyes searching for him in the dust from the explosion. "Why couldn't you just leave us alone!" A hand grabbed her wrist and snapped it back. She cried out as he held her in the air.

"Such a troublesome little girl, Raven. Tsk tsk." Fingers gripped her other hand and broke the wrist efficiently. "A bird can't fly without its wings, can it? Perhaps I should clip yours…" Raven hung limply from his hands. Lifting the out cold girl onto his shoulder, Slade walked out of the cave and towards his lair.

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**A/N**: Okaaaay. That's a wrap.The rating might go up in later chapters; I'm not sure right now. Now... I need to go do the next chapter. Please review. Every and all opinion is wanted; constructive criticism most of all. 


	2. Cleansing Snow

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Titans, or it wouldn't be called **fan**fiction...

**Warnings:**This is the chapter where most of the warnings (see profile) come into play... _...Against our will..._ isa line break.

**Pairings:** Slowly coming into play...

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Chapter Two: **Cleansing Snow**

The days.. in the day he tortured her, breaking and resetting bones, beating her when she tried to use her powers, ripping her mind to shreds when she was half-drugged. Made her listen, blindfolded and tied like an animal, to reports on the troubles plaguing her teammates, unable to move or try to use what was left of her powers.. She never stopped thinking of them as friends, which only made it hurt more to hear the news reporter announce Starfire's closeness to death, Cyborg's near destruction and Robin's repeated defeats. The worse part was that she knew who was giving the villains information to defeat them- Terra. She was selling them out and so again and again Raven listened to reports of smarting and painful defeats in pain. He made her listen, broken heart crying out, to Terra's reports on the Titans' deteriorating condition- and how they blamed in on the fact that Raven abandoned them.

"Bull," she had said before he had beat her again. "They don't blame me." But somewhere, as she listened to the ever growing crime reports, unable to move or teleport as Slade systematically tore her mind apart, Raven began to doubt. Had she brought about the Titans' destruction somehow?

The nights… He forced himself on her, finding ways more painful each time to repay her for the scratches, bruises and injuries she gave him at first. Sometimes he'd wait, making her think he wasn't going to come; and then open the door into the dark room that trapped her. The dark wasn't comforting anymore- the dark meant pain.

It was snowing. Raven watched the fat white flakes fall down, spinning in a freedom she longed for. A stray crystal fell on her cheek, melting in a moment. As the cool drop ran down her skin, like the tears she had had beaten out of her long ago, Raven realized she would be that cold soon. The snow built on her spread-eagled body, collecting on the torn leotard and cloak. The final brush stroke of pain- Slade had left her to die in the uniform she had warn so long ago, when she was part of the Titans. So long… How long had it been? The violet haired girl had ceased to count. All that had marked day from night was when he came in to pleasure himself. And long ago she had stopped thinking about that.

Maybe it would be nice to die, Raven thought. Maybe… she could… finally let go…

_...Against our will..._

Beast Boy shivered, drawing his ragged coat closer. No one on the train paid attention to the shabbily dressed person standing next to the train door. It was packed with people leaving Jump City, finally taking the course smarter ones had long ago. With the downfall of the Titans there was no point in remaining. That was one thing he had never gotten. _Why_ were criminals so obsessed with taking over Jump City? It's not as if they could go from there and conquer the world once Jump City had fallen. Fallen like the Titans. It had all started with Raven leaving them…

_He stared at her, anger for attacking Terra teaming up with the protective feeling he had for the stray girl. How dare she? It was, he realized, just as Slade had said. She had given into the darkness that he and Cyborg had seen in her mind. Part of him was suspicious that Slade had guessed so accurately what was going to happen, but he told it to shut up. Raven had attacked a Titan. That was all that mattered._

And then she was gone. All she had said was, "Be happy, Beast Boy. For my sake." Leaving them with that cryptic message she had disappeared. That had been over 10 months ago. She wasn't coming back. None of them were.

Robin had snapped. Raven's absence had brought a change in him; all the others could guess was that he had depended on her to help lead. And at times Raven had taken some responsibility, pulled part of his weight. That and he blamed himself for thinking her a true Titan, when deep inside she double crossed them, feeding information to Slade. Which he never could have known, of course. They had all let her stay, thought of her as a friend… But she hadn't been one. Robin wasn't able to think much now. They had to send him to an asylum. One push from Slade at the right moment and he had toppled.

Starfire blamed herself constantly, and for everything. There was something haunting her, lurking in her eyes. The alien never got over raising a hand against Raven; he knew because he had heard her weeping in the night, wanting to know how her sister could have gone so wrong. The alien had stayed by Robin's side all the time, trying to hold onto whatever feelings of joy she was able to by being in his presence. That's where she was now, with him. The sight of her brought a measure of peace to Robin's crazed mind.

Cyborg had gotten angrier and angrier, retreating into himself and exploding every time they got defeated. One day he had just gotten up and left. He was long gone, the T-Car sending up dust before anyone knew what had happened.

And Terra… Terra had revealed her true nature at last, stood against him and Starfire, told them that she was the reason they had sunk so low. He hadn't known what to do. Her words bit into his soul like a double edged blade, (like Raven must have felt, he realized sorrowfully) leaving him speechless and numb. Starfire had solved the problem.

_Terra stood, hands on hips, facing Starfire and him. Her hair fell over half her face as she smirked at them._

"_Looks like you made a mistake, Beast Boy. Raven didn't betray you- I did." Her finger tapped her chest as her blue eyes spurned him for being the weakling she saw him as. "And you sent her away when she found me out. Think how grateful I was to you; I had been wondering how to get that bitch out of my hair." The finger pointed towards him now, as waves of shock and hurt alternated hitting him._

"_You- were- behind this?" he croaked, voice gone hoarse. Terra's smirk grew wider and she cocked an eyebrow. _

"_Slade's SO much better than you wimps. A hell of a lot more fun too. Though it was enjoyable, cracking Robin's mind like that. But I can't play with you," and her expression turned to one of disappointment. "Slade wants you dead- NOW." He couldn't move as the earth started to open up below him, started to drop like his heart already had. Suddenly Starfire slammed into the traitor, eyes a green inferno in the cold sun beams. Terra started to get up, automatically raising a hand to protect herself, as Starfire's starbolts struck with deadly accuracy. The double-crosser gasped with the pain as Star lifted her up, regarding her with hard, brutal and vicious eyes. There was no kindness in them, no hint of humanity. Terra could only stare, stunned, until Starfire's fist connected with her face. There would be no mercy from the alien. There was no mercy._

Now that she knew who had injured Robin so, she took out more than righteous fury on the betrayer. What had been left was barely recognizable as human. The two had walked away, Beast Boy stumbling and Starfire a new, colder and more brutal girl than anyone had ever thought she could be.

No. There was never going to be a Teen Titans again. With a sigh Beast Boy turned his attention out the window, watching the snow drifts flash by.

As the train rounded the bend in the tracks he saw the snow glare reflect off of something near the tracks. Almost on cue the puzzled green eyes caught sight of a piece of blue cloth flutter in a snow bank. No way. There was _no way­-_

Without hesitation he pulled on the emergency brake near his head. The train squealed to a halt, throwing all the passengers off their feet. Before anyone could react he thrust through the doors and out into the bitter cold. The bundled teen started shedding the layers of suddenly hampering clothes, down to the long unused uniform. Ignoring the cold gust of wind, he pushed through the three foot deep banks.

After what seemed too long Beast Boy reached the area where he had seen the cloth. Raven couldn't be here. She would be long gone. 10 months. Why should she be here? The scrap of cloth waved its blue tip like a dying soldier surrendering to the inevitable, and the sight of it spurred him on. Digging frantically around it, he stopped.

There was nothing else there.

_Damn it, just my luck!_ Grabbing the offending fabric he pulled hard. It resisted. _Huh?_ Suddenly revitalized he scooped snow rapidly. The first thing he got to was something black. Frowning, Beast Boy pushed more melting snow out of the way. The next thing made him freeze.

A hand. A cool, grey hand. He tried to swallow, a thousand emotions running through him.

_Raven._ The single thought remained.

_Raven._

_Raven!_

Beast Boy wrapped his hands around the cool one and heaved, trying not to think about what this meant. Slowly, then all at one, a body emerged from the snow.

_Raven._

His breath hitched and he stared at her. She was dressed in a near shredded old uniform, pain etched onto her face. Her mouth was opened, and he imagined her last breath escaping in a wisp of mist, carried instantly away by the biting wind. Her beautiful violet eyes were glazed, blind to the world.

"No." _No._ Not after so long- not now, when he needed her the most. He put shaking hands around her, drawing the snowy body to him. The stunned teen traced her face, waiting for her to wake up and get angry with him, to do something other than lay there, unable to accept the fact that she was gone for good.

"NO!" Crying softly, then loudly, he let all the tears he'd held back flow. This wasn't fair. It wasn't _fair!_ Was he cursed? Why did fate have to torture him so? Why did he find her now, when he was ready to give up, when he needed her to sarcastically bring him back from the brink of despair? _Please. Don't let her be dead. Don't let her die. Don't…_ He didn't know how long he sat there, holding her and crying.

"Raven…" Beast Boy whispered, pressing his cheek to hers, breath steaming in the frigid air. "Raven… I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm so sorry…" Unable to speak, he bowed his head, forehead almost touching hers, finally accepting the bitter truth; she was gone.

It was then that he felt her move, shift as once cold lips tenderly touched his. The salty taste of tears brought him back to reality and he caught his breath as the feather light kiss ended. Startlement changed to disbelief and then hope as Raven smiled crookedly at him.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Heart leaping, he just stared at her until she touched his lips with her warm fingertips. Raven looked, really looked at him with those violet eyes, taking in his condition and weary face. A faint hint of concern showed on her face.

"What happened? I heard- I heard so many things…" The exhausted anger he had felt when they were first being knocked down flared suddenly into existence.

"If you heard, why didn't you come help us?" She tried to speak but her cut her off. "We needed you! Do you have any idea how much it hurt when everyone started falling apart, and then to find out that it was Terra- the girl I had pushed for us to accept- betraying us? And if you knew, did you really hate us that much to not come back? I know your powers, Raven and I know that if you had you could've come back at anytime!" he was slightly out of breath, chest heaving. It was only when the anger faded slightly that he saw Raven had drawn away, pulled herself off of him and was sitting, staring at her hands. She was shaking. The anger vanished and Beast Boy reached out, about to touch her when she looked up. Her violet eyes were filled with a pain that cut to his core, horrors that he couldn't begin to understand. A single tear had found its bitter way down her cheek.

"Do you really think I hated you? That I wouldn't have come back if I could?" Her voice cracked. "Oh God- if I could have- Oh God." For the first time he saw the mottled bruises and healing slashes showing through her leotard, stark contrast to her grey skin. He grabbed a sleeve and pulled it up, staring dumbstruck at the scars and bruises covering her arm.

"Who?" The question slipped out immediately. He believed her; she wouldn't have lied to him. The whisper that came next didn't surprise him somehow, though the loathing, hateful way she said it did.

"Slade." And Beast boy understood at least that much. If anyone could have held Raven prisoner, that bastard could. He put his arms around her, drawing her back to him, trying to give some measure of comfort to the girl he had known for so long. The fact that she didn't resist, or draw away, but tensed and the relaxed, finding that comfort in him meant more than words. Few were the times she had let anyone touch her without a reason behind it; it had scarred her more deeply than she had realized.

"I'm sorry Raven. It's just…" She nodded against his chest and he was hit with the realization that she was shorter by a hair now. He must have grown while she was away. Then again, he had never held her except once or twice so… "What did he do to you?" It was obvious he had done something- that much even _he_ could see. There was a long pause.

"He beat me. He made me listen to reports on your failures and Terra's comments. He drugged me so I couldn't fight at first. He… he raped me. He tore me apart; I couldn't use my powers after that. He violated me in so many ways…" Beast Boy felt nauseated and resisted the urge to throw up. His heart went out to the young woman he held in comforting arms. Even as anger grew, he felt some of her pain.

"Raven, I… I'm so sorry." There was little he could say, other than that. She sat, eyes closed as she fought some internal battle. Then, opening those endless dark eyes, she leaned her head against his.

"Then just hold me…" Her voice was a whisper. "Please?" He didn't respond, just let her channel her pent-up emotions while they sat in the snow.

When she finally relaxed, he tilted her head up, olive green eyes meeting her shadowed ones.

"Then I'd say it's about time the Titans did some major ass kicking." Happiness filled her face and he felt like basking in the light of it forever, but duty called. No one on the train rushing by saw the green pterodactyl lift into the clear sky, a girl in a blue cloak held gently in its talons.

Raven felt the wind rush through her hair and past her face, revealing in the sensation of flight and the freedom that came with it. _This_ was what she had longed for ever since she had left the Tower. _This_ was what made her complete and was healing her. This, she thought, and Beast boy. That he accepted her, shared her pain and still though of her as a Titan, was helping her overcome Slade's influence; little by little. She could stay like this forever, and maybe, one day, if a miracle took place, she could.

_...Against our will..._

The minutes passed, marked only by the swoosh created by Beast boy's wings. Raven watched, emotionless, as they passed over smoking rubble and collapsed buildings, forms hidden by the fallen snow. The city below looked nothing like the Jump City she remembered. Finally the familiar shape of Titan's Tower became and she saw with resignation the rusting condition it was in. Touching down, Raven stood shakily while Beast Boy changed. Without a word she lifted up the trap door built into the roof, slipping inside ahead of Beast Boy.

Dust covered everything, a gray tribute to the Tower's acceptance of its abandonment. Her footprints were outlined clearly in the dark floor and they echoed hollowly. Hood up, the dark teen walked by the main room, refusing to choke on all the memories that she had formed in there. Slowly she stopped at the room labeled RAVEN. The door slid open at her touch and she looked into it. Then, surprising the changeling, Raven turned and came back.

"I don't want to go into there now. It's as if it's not my room." She said dully. At his confused look she sighed slightly. "That room belongs to another Raven- the dark yet innocent sadistic one. I'm the scarred, broken version who feels out of place here." She broke off. He nodded slowly.

"Want a bed, then?" She looked flatly at him. He blushed and waved his hands. "Not like that! It's just that I have two and, well…" With a small, amused smile Raven nodded.

"If you wouldn't mind… I'm not sleeping on any dirty clothes, either." He sweat dropped. "We can find the others tomorrow. It's late, and I know I'm tired. Near death experiences aren't the best way to get your attention, you know." As Beast Boy stared at her she brushed by, pausing to look over her shoulder.

"Well?" He looked at her, unsure if she remembered what had happened to the said others, even though Raven had mentioned she knew. "I know about them, Beast Boy. But one thing I've learned is that in darkest night there is a hope of light." She raised her eyebrows. "Poetry, though I doubt you've read any besides what's in those game cheatlets." Spluttering, he followed her, amazed at her ability to bounce back, not realizing that he was the main reason she was.

The door opened and her eyebrows arced higher at the clean state (excluding the dust) it was in. Then, moving inside, she fell onto the lower bunk bed. "I'll change in the morning." Was is response to his glance at her ragged uniform. When the door closed behind Beast Boy, he heard Raven take a sharp breath. Guessing what the cause of her distress was, he flipped on the closet light and opened the door far enough that the crack of light feel onto her face as she sat upright. Once again he was struck by how _different_ she was now, the scratches and hollows on her face shadowed by the yellow beam of light. Her hair fell messily into her face as she blinked, and relief crossed the weary expression, a sigh escaping. Slowly Raven lowered her aching body onto the mattress, violet eyes hidden by closing eyelids. "Thanks, Beast Boy…" Her voice trailed off and he smiled.

" 'Night, Raven." Clambering onto his top bunk, he fell asleep quickly as below him Raven did the same. Tomorrow they had to regroup the Titans.

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**A/N:**And the second chapter of Maelstrom gets posted! Yae! Thanks to all who reviewed: 

**Miss Poisonous:**Well, it wasn't _quite_ a slow death, but I hope you're satisfied... And you'll get to see the other's reactions in the next chapter or two.

**Grey Rain:** I updated! And that's okay, I know the feeling...

**Hollykins2891:** Bashed enough? Starfire took care of it for you.

**Yaa:** I got the point! Updated soon enough?

**DudeBBR/AAML:** Turtles are nice, but I've never seen one rabid before. Slade's thrown his monkey wrench into the system for now, but he'll show up later. Unfortuantely...

**RavenFlyingSolo:** Thanks for the compliment! Were you talking about when she attacked Terra? In that case, they were all downstairs in the main room and hadn't realized that Raven was out of her room yet; they didn't leave her alone. Here's the next chapter- hoped it lived up to your expectations!

**Thanks for those who reviewed- please review again!**

**For those of you who read but didn't review:** I'm glad you're reading, and hope that you do decide to review sometime.


	3. Room To Breathe

**Disclaimer:** If I'm lucky, one day I'll own a horse and a house. If a miracle happens before then, I'll own Teen Titans.

**Warning:** DO NOT ATTEMPT CPR UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. Luckily for them, Beast Boy does. Don't ask. _...There's nothing we can do..._ is a line break.

**Pairings:** Shouldn't have to ask by now! Another pairing pops up in this chapter.

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Chapter Three: **Room to Breathe**

Raven walked out of Beast Boy's room, yawning slightly and sniffing the air. Bacon? With an almost eager spring in her step she came to the once abandoned main room. Beast Boy stood at the stove, a frying pan in one mittened hand and holding his nose with the other, trying not to look at the bacon, which wasn't the best thing to do when you're cooking something. She grinned. Twenty years old and he was still a fifteen year old at heart. The 'him' in question turned, face lighting up at the sight of her in the new uniform he had put on the desk after stealing it from the old room. Her face was a mask.

"You went into my room." He blinked, caught off guard.

"But- you said it wasn't your room anymore and-" She watched him stall, gesturing wildly with the frying pan. After another moment he ground to a halt, just looking helpless.

"You went in _my_ room." Then, unable to stop, Raven cracked into a smile. Beast Boy just stared as she laughed, feeling another one of Slade's holds on her slip off. Unbending she sat at the bar, seeing his 'she-must-have-finally-cracked' expression as a last giggle faded. Shrugging helplessly as she resumed a straight face, Beast Boy slid the bacon in front of her, wincing as she picked up a piece while he drew up a plate with tofu cubes on it. Raven smiled inside. He must be feeling _really_ guilty, or else he would never have even touched the bacon.

_Wait,_ she thought. _Exactly how old is this?_ She examined a strip closely. Edible, yes, but expired? You never knew…

"Umm… Enjoy?" Raven nodded, finishing off the last piece and a glass of water, she turned to face the green teen beside her. She had been _hungry_.

"So. Where's Robin? They never mentioned over the radio; security risks, I guess." The thought of why she had been listening to those talks almost made her lose what she had just eaten, but Raven ruthlessly slammed down that urge. Beast Boy chewed rapidly on the last tofu cube and swallowed.

"In Gotham City Mental Institution. With Starfire." Regret was evident in his voice.

"Then let's get going." Beast Boy took her plate, carefully washed the dishes, and placed each gently in the cupboard. At Raven's raised eyebrow he shrugged.

"I was the last one left… I kinda had to do it when everyone was gone." They walked together downstairs to the crisp morning. A green sea gull took off, then landed and shifted into an alternately embarrassed and sorrowful Beast Boy. "Uh," he said, rubbing the back of his head, "I'm sorry. I kinda forgot."

"Me too," Raven said, a haunted look in her eyes. "Me too."

Hesitating, Beast Boy put his arms around her. She leaned into him slightly, drawing comfort and love into her chilled body. Then he changed, clasping a talon around each of her arms and lifting up into the open sky.

_...There's nothing we can do..._

All too soon they came to the Institution, a cold, impersonal white building. Automatic doors hissed open and the two walked in, stopping at the secretary's desk. The fat lady didn't even do a double take at either of them, but looked suspicious when she heard they wanted to see Robin. Peering at them from behind obviously fake lashes and the most _horrible_ green eye shadow Raven had ever seen, the woman rasped out a floor number, six, and told them that he was the only patient on the floor. Ushering them on with a filed and perfectly manicured hand, Raven knew she was turning to gossip with the nurses. She ignored the whispering ladies as she hit the 6th floor button on the elevator. The ride up seemed to take forever, the tight space cramping inwards with every minute it took to rise another floor.

When at last the doors opened, both walked out and were greeted by the sight of Starfire, braced for battle, the green glow ready to be unleashed. Raven's heart stopped at the sight of her, déjà vu taking her back to the day she left. Starfire realized who it was in the split second it took Raven's stomach to plummet down the six floors they had just traveled up and dropped her hands, staring openly at the slim and familiar figure of her teammate.

"R-Raven?" She asked, incredulous. A second later Raven was firmly held in the weeping alien's arms, heart restarting even as she gasped for breath.

"Oh, Friend Raven! How I have longed to see you- and apologize to you, for even thinking of harming you! Please, say you will forgive me?" Raven's hand tugged frantically on Star's shirt until the over enthusiastic alien held her at arm's length, tears threatening to overflow again from her big green eyes.

"Do you forgive me?" There was a pleading note in her trembling voice. Raven studied her face, having regained her breath.

"Of course, Starfire. How could I not?" Beast Boy edged carefully away, turning his gaze instead to the ancient papers pasted onto the crumbling wall. It both disturbed and angered him that they had put Robin up here, when, as a hero, he had done so much good; but that was the way things went, wasn't it? The sounds of talking was punctuated by gasps and more crying as Raven told Starfire what had happened to her. Starfire in turn was probably outlining what had happened to them once she was gone; the truth and details (as in other than the rumors spread by TV) and their perspective while being betrayed by Terra. Once the two girls came within earshot, he turned around. By Starfire's furious, barely contained expression, Raven had spilled more to the other girl than she had to him. He mentally shrugged; a girl would understand more. He knew all that he needed to know.

Raven stopped before the thick door that would open to where Robin was. Starfire rested a hand on her shoulder; Raven looked at her.

"He may not recognize you; he may even attack you. Are you sure?" Raven turned back to the door.

"I need to settle with him." With that she opened it and slipped in.

It was neat- she wasn't surprised. Even if the Robin she knew was gone, the basic, ingrained nature remained. Raven moved into the middle, purposely keeping her body language casual but alert. After a moment a shadow separated from the rest and Robin slid into the light. His uniform was clean and straightened, while his hair lay down without the constant hair gelling needed to insure proper spikes. His gaze behind the ever-present mask flicked over to her; she didn't turn her eyes away but made direct contact. Made herself a threat. With an inarticulate snarl he lunged, punching and kicking. Raven ducked and dodged, eyebrows lifting slightly. Even half-sane he was pretty good; though nothing compared to his old self. A lightening meant to kill punch snaked towards her head. The two stilled; her upper arm stayed where it was, having pushed it away from her face. He breathed heavily, starting to draw away.

"Robin." Her cold, demanding voice cut the air and he froze again. For a long moment neither moved; then Robin's fist dropped and the other hand came up, touching his mask. Then he looked up, confusion written in his face.

"Raven?" Robin seemed to jolt back to reality. "You betrayed us!" Raven barely had a moment to remember that he didn't know Terra had betrayed them before he had her pinned on the floor. Face contorted with rage, he twisted one of her arms as his other one pressed down on her throat. She struggled frantically, hating the flashbacks of memories flooding her mind even as she fought to get him off of her. "WHY?" Violet eyes shot open and she stilled, lying limply under him. Her hand twitched feebly, slowly moving to the arm he held. Robin didn't noticed until she jerked the hand grasping the cloth; instinctively he pressed harder and her eyes rolled up, her head falling to the side. But Robin didn't notice- he was staring at her exposed arm.

Carved into the flesh, over and over again until the scars built into legible letters, was the word 'Slade'. His mask widened and he rolled off the still girl, yanking up the other sleeve of her leotard. Fingers deftly probed the bone of her arm. The telltale bumps that meant repeated breaks were like piercing daggers, striking to the core- if Raven had gone to Slade willingly, why had he hurt her? And why hadn't she used her powers? Suddenly it struck him that Raven wasn't breathing. Grabbing her shoulders, he shook her, fury abated while fear took over him. If he had killed her- The door burst open and Beast Boy flew in, having heard Robin's hated filled shouts the moment before. He picked up Robin and threw him roughly in the direction of the window. Robin managed to land on his feet, feeling shaken as his teammate knelt beside Raven's form.

"Raven? Raven!" She didn't respond, or breathe. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER, ROBIN?" Without waiting for an answer Beast Boy tilted her head back, cheek close to her mouth to feel for any breath. There was none. Cursing, he pressed his mouth over hers and breathed. Raven's chest rose slightly and Beast Boy took away his face, letting her body exhale on its own. Then he blew another breath into her, staring anxiously into the motionless face as her chest fell. "Raven!" Desperation lanced his words and Robin realized he had been wrong, somehow. Raven hadn't betrayed them- then who had?

Beast Boy did fifteen chest compressions, watching Raven's slack face anxiously.

"C'mon, Rae, don't you dare leave me, don't slip away from me again, don't even think about it-" Two more rescue breaths did nothing, anguish at her stillness filling Beast Boy's face as Robin watched, feeling every piece of firm ground he had known slip out from under his feet. He had killed Raven- his teammate. His body shook with the tremors, and it was only then that he saw Starfire standing, horror stricken, in the doorway. Oh God, he had killed her-

There was a gasping sound and Raven coughed, air wheezing out from her lips. She coughed again and Beast Boy grabbed her shoulders, propping her up as she gasped. Her hand lifted and Robin watched their fingers twined around each other, each as unaware of it as the other. Then Beast Boy turned a furious gaze on him and started to rise.

"You attacked her, you bastard, you piece of-" Raven pulled her hand, dragging his attention to her. She shook her head, but that didn't appease the enraged teen. "How could you?" He demanded, but thankfully not rising from his position with Raven leaning into him.

"I didn't know." Robin's voice shook, and he didn't try to stabilize it. "I thought she had betrayed us- I didn't know!" Starfire's eyes flew from Raven to Robin and then to Beast Boy. She moved swiftly, putting a hand on Robin's shoulder and causing him to turn towards her. She searched the mask for an answer, unable to find one in the barrier he had raised between himself and the world, but belief in his words filled her. She turned to Beast Boy.

"He does not lie." She felt, like a tangible thing underneath her hand, Robin's surprise and relief at her words. Beast Boy opened his mouth to say something else but Raven tightened her fingers, wobbly rising to her feet. He hastily helped her up, grim set of his mouth disappearing as she rested her head on his chest. After a moment Raven untangled her fingers and turned him, giving him a little push towards the door. Beast Boy stopped, refusing, but her violet gaze told him to trust her. Tensing and then nodding, he walked out the door, but Starfire was sure he was just outside the door. She withdrew her hand and left too, leaving Raven and Robin in the room alone as the door closed with a snick.

"Raven, I-" She cut him off.

"Don't apologize, Robin. I understand."

"Slade."

"Slade." When he moved to leave, she pinned him with her violet gaze. "You snapped hunting him, Robin. I know. He made me watch the video he taped of it." The mask widened and then narrowed. Raven shook her head slightly. "I did _not_ help him or tell him. He had _Terra_ for that." The name was a curse on her tongue, and Robin made the connection. "And I tried to leave. Trust me on that." Robin pretended not to see her swallow hard, wincing at the bruise starting to form on her neck. She composed herself rapidly. "Let's go. I know someone wants to talk to you." She opened the door, motioning for him to wait. Starfire stepped back in and his heart rose. Slowly she walked to him, pausing a few feet away.

"Star?" Her eyes filled with tears and she threw her arms around him.

"Robin! I was so afraid-" Raven glanced towards the corridor and Beast Boy nodded, the door closing.

"He _attacked_ you, Raven."

"He didn't know that I hadn't betrayed them, either. AND he came out of it sane. We need him sane, Beast Boy. NOT dead." Beast Boy tightened his jaw, and then sighed.

"So what'd ya do?"

"Just tried to reach the Robin I knew and connected with when the toxic dust was in his system." He nodded. "You know, I have a feeling that they're doing more than 'talking' in there." Raven added, a mischievous smile on her face. When he looked at her, slightly surprised that she could be joking after just narrowly dying, she turned that soft smile on him. "And I wouldn't say it's a bad idea." His eyes met hers and were reassured by the love and calm he found there as he held her in his arms. It was a sweet kiss, startling in it's intensity- but it wasn't everyday that your loved one nearly died. When they broke apart he looked out a dusty window that had a tiny view into the garden six floors below.

"Finding out Terra was the one betraying us, instead of you, hurt. Badly. Terra was… special. She laughed at my jokes, hung out with me; was more than a friend, in all honesty." He felt her tense slightly next to him, but was glad when she didn't pull away. He needed to talk about this. "I had a crush on her. Albeit a hell of a crush on her, but even before she revealed herself I was coming to that conclusion. It was a crush, but nothing more. I was in love with someone else." She lifted her head, looking at him as he continued. "I was in love with the girl I had told to never come back. The girl I thought I never wanted to see again filled my thoughts." He looked directly at her. "I loved you."

Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth, the words on the tip of her tongue. It was only for a moment that she struggled; then Raven spoke words once taboo and unknown to her.

"I… I love you too." It was enough for both. **(Sick minds OUT of the gutter, people!)**

When Starfire and Robin opened the door five minutes later, they saw Raven and Beast Boy standing there, waiting impatiently.

"Let's go. We need to find Cyborg." Raven said in her monotone voice. No one saw fit to mention anything about Raven's crooked cloak, Starfire's mussed hair, Robin's flipped mask or Beast Boy's slightly pink tinge.

While all the nurses and doctors stared, amazed to see Robin walking calmly out of the place he had been brought tranquilized into four months earlier, no one tried to stopped them.

_...There's nothing we can do..._

After putting in a few long distance calls to the now 'retired' Jinx and Cy's remaining family, they came back together at the table to confer.

"Well, he's not with Jinx," Beast Boy said. Raven raised an eyebrow. Noting her look, he hurried to explain. "After her group thrashed us a few times, Jinx quit the villain business. She said she was 'tired of kicking our sorry asses' and retired. It was a possibility…"

"And nothing from his dad, either." Robin sighed, curling and uncurling a hand. "Where could he be? We need him, and he's long since deactivated the tracer. He BUILT the tracer, for crying out loud."

"Did you attempt to do the ring up of Bumblebee?" Everyone looked at Starfire. She blushed slightly at the attention. "Did no one else see the 'spark' between them?" Slowly Raven nodded.

"She's got a point." She grabbed the communicator from Beast Boy and hit a button. After a bit Bumblebee's face appeared on the screen. "Oh, hey ya'll, sorry it took me-" She stopped when she recognized Raven. "What the hell are you- how do you have one?" Her face reflected distrust and anger. "Did you take it from one of their corpses once you betrayed them, traitor? Oh God, Cyborg-" It turned off as she turned away from the screen. No one moved for a moment. Then, slowly, Raven put the communicator on the table and rose, face set in a violently wavering mask.

"Raven, I'm sure she didn't mean it-" Beast Boy stopped as she turned slightly towards him. Her face was deathly pale and her violet eyes were empty. Blank. She walked out and he pushed over the chair, suddenly released from the tension. "Raven!" Oh God, he had no idea what she was going to do- Racing up the steps, he reached the roof. Raven stood on the edge, hood up as the cloak snapped around her. Fear made him fly, wrapping arms around her waist and roughly pulling her back. They collapsed and Beast Boy was amazed at the violent sobs that ripped from her slight body. Finally she sat up and he wiped her eyes with a thumb. Raven smiled half-heartedly.

"You know, I haven't cried this much in my entire life. You must be bad for me."

"Why Raven! Is that _humor_ I hear? A joke!" Beast Boy gasped in mock horror.

"Yes, and if you want to keep yours, let alone you mind, you'll shut up. _Now._" She glared at him, annoyance twitching her features when he broke into semi-hysterical laughter.

"Whohoo… Raven made two jokes in one day!" He gasped, calming down as he tried to catch his breath. "Is the world ending yet?" Sobering, Beast Boy looked at her. "At least we know Cyborg is there. She was going to talk to someone. I'm sure of it." Raven slid her hood back up, rising. At that moment the alarm went off, Robin having reset it.

"It appears the criminals are squabbling amongst themselves. Someone has to teach them some manners."

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**A/N:** Raven does seem to like near death experiences. I'm sorry that this wasn't up yesterday- when I originally planned to post Chap. Three- but while typing it I had to revise the whole Robin/Raven encounter, due to the fact that he didn't know she hadn't betrayed him and ended up adding a whole 'nother page to the ones already typed.Not everything goes according to the plan. Not even according to mine, which is sad because I am the author... Anyway, please review! 

**Yaa:** Your reviews went and made my day! I can't say thank you enough to let you know how encouraging it is to know that you liked my story that much- Thanks!

**DarkSin:** Glad you liked it! Hope this is soon enough.

**MollyKat:** I'll keep working on it, no fear. Chapter Four is just around the corner.

**Once again, thanks for the reviews!**


	4. Reliving Pain

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Teen Titans. 'Nuff said. Nor do I own Good Morning Beautiful.

**Warning:** If Cy seems OOC, it's not my fault. Blame my muse, Ryena. Apologies in advance, because this is a shorter chapter; it served one purpose but needed to be here anyway. ..._To make it stand still..._ is a line break.

**Pairings: **The final one is hinted/comes into view this chapter.

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Chapter Four: **Reliving Pain**

Cyborg, a.k.a. Vic Stone, sat in front of the TV, devouring popcorn by the handful. After working all day at the mechanic shop, he was ready for some relaxation. No one knew him here, and that's how he wanted it. The Titans were behind him- and he wasn't going to think about _that_ if he could help it.

The piece of junk he had salvaged from the junkyard and turned into a high tech TV flashed to the news report; the reporter looked into the camera, face serious. "In other news, after a period of unrest and unchecked crime in Jump City, it appears that at least some of the former crime fighting group, the Teen Titans, are back. Today members identified as Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy and-" The phone rang. He picked it up, not bothering to check caller ID as he stared at the TV. The Titans? Back? But-

"Cy? You there? Listen, man, I got a call-" It was Bumblebee. He interrupted her talk.

"Turn on the TV." There was a pause and then the brunette's voice came into both ears:

"Fifteen villains and wanted persons were turned over to police from Gotham City's Jail by the four. However watchers reported that the member gone the longest, Raven, did not use her trademark powers." The screen flicked to an observer's videotape. Robin was there, along with a green T. Rex (Beast Boy, Cyborg thought vaguely) and the purple clad Starfire hovered, blasting the bad guys with her 'bolts. Robin was sane, that much was clear from what glimpses he caught of the whirling figure. Jerkily the camera zoomed to focus on someone on top of the nearest building. It was Raven. She did nothing, but stood stone still, only her hands moving. They balled into fists as the noise level peaked, the wind blowing her hood down so they saw her bite her lip, concern plain on her revealed face. A breath later Beast Boy must have flown up, for he entered the picture, changing from a raven to a human. The two exchanged words and then Star joined in, taking Raven's hands. The camera pulled out as police cars zoomed to the heap of criminals. It followed Star holding Raven and Beast Boy in pteri form taking Robin. All this happened in the space of seven seconds. Cyborg heard a quick intake of breath on the line even as he stared at the TV.

What the hell was going on?

He muted the sound as Bumblebee's voice came back on.

"Oh-what have I done?"

"Bumblebee, what are you talking about?"

"Listen, Sparky. Someone rang me on the communicator today. When I picked it up, I saw Raven. From what you said- and I heard- I thought she had killed off a Titan and –well- I said some really bad things. Crap… Cy? You there? Cy?"

"Get ready, Bee. I'll be over tomorrow at dawn. We're going to see what's up in Jump City." Bumblebee looked at the phone as the click signaled Cyborg had hung up. She hoped he knew what he was doing. When he had come to her the first time, he had been a wreck. It had taken every moment since then to get back to the 'original' Cyborg. Biting her lip, she hesitantly picked up the Titan communicator and clipped it to her belt, next to her B's. She was going to have to come up with a hell of an apology.

..._To make it stand still..._

"Azarath, Metrion, Zint-"

"Friend Raven?" Raven opened her eyes. Starfire stood in front of her, puzzled lime eyes watching her. "Why do you meditate, even when your powers are gone?"

Raven sighed slightly. "Because, Starfire, even though my powers are gone, that doesn't mean my feelings aren't. And," she added after a moment, "force of habit." Star nodded.

"I see. Would you like to come to the night feast once you are done?" The empathic teen shook her head.

"Not now… maybe later." Star nodded once more and turned.

"All right." As the Tameranian walked away, Raven returned to her thoughts. What she had told Starfire was true: her feelings were still there. Fear for her friends, relief that they were fine. Anger, that she could do nothing. Emotions not completely under her control worried her. Last night, after the battle, she had stayed up late, meditating for a long time. With a sigh the violet eyed girl rose. Her concentration was broken; it was doubtful she could get the rhythm right again.

The hallways were dark. Raven tightened her jaw, refusing to let the fresh fear take over her again. Walking towards the elevator, she froze. Someone was there, in the shadows. Her eyes widened, as she saw the flash of light on metal, and someone advancing towards her.

"SLADE!" She screamed, backing into a wall. Her body tensed but the black fire didn't come, and fear gripped her in a paralyzing vice. Thoughts ran through her head in a millisecond.

_How? – He's come back for me. – No – He'll kill me – Oh God Oh God Oh God – RUN- Hide! – Don't let him near me again – NO – The dark – Oh God – Why? Hasn't he tortured me enough? – Please – Help – Slade._

"Raven!" The three who were downstairs burst from the elevator, surrounding the trembling girl and ready to fight.

Then a red light come on just as the hallway lights did. Cyborg stood in the hallway, watching them with unreadable eyes.

"Is that anyway to greet an old friend?" There were gasps and they relaxed. Robin stepped forward.

"Don't you know how to knock?" Bumblebee moved out from behind Cyborg, hands on her hips as she shrugged.

"Of course not." Her eyes looked for Raven. "Cy's got a good point. What's wrong with her?'

Raven had slid down the wall, holding her face in her hands. Beast Boy knelt in front of her, gloved hands holding her wrists as she sat, hood over her face. Ragged, heart breaking whispers came from her hidden face. "Don't- don't touch me. Leave me alone- why the hell are you doing this? Haven't you hurt me – them, enough? Go away. Don't hurt me- LEAVE ME ALONE! Bastard! Stop! Don't even- get the hell away from me! Get off! Stop – let me go! Let go, you son of a bitch! Let- AHHHHH!" The piercing scream tore from her throat, ending as suddenly as it had begun. She thrashed, twisting and struggling against some unseen force as the others watched, stunned. Then, as the scream died from her lips, her hands dropped, Beast Boy having drawn his away once she started talking. The hood had fallen off of her head when she was twisting and now the hallway light shone dully on her empty eyes. Her head rolled to a side, grey skin almost transparent in the bright light.

"Raven?" Beast Boy whispered fearfully. Starfire grabbed her wrist, fingers searching for a pulse.

"She is alive," came the answer in a moment. "But not conscious." Beast Boy picked her up, cradling the limp teen, the anger directed towards Cyborg a bonfire in the green irises. Then, passing coldly by the two newcomers, he carried her to her room.

"What just happened?" Cyborg looked from Robin to Starfire. Starfire had her 'thinking' face on.

"Oh… Perhaps when she saw you and thought you were Slade-" She turned to Robin. "Maybe something like the dust you breathed that made you see Slade?" Robin nodded slowly.

"That seems the most likely answer, though I don't want to know what he was doing to her if that was the case. For now, we need to watch her- make sure nothing else reminds her of _him_. As for you," he said, turning to Cy, who looked confused. "We need to talk. Star, fill Bumblebee in while I explain what happened to Cyborg." The team leader walked to his room, leaning up against a wall as Cyborg stood opposite him.

"Look, man, I turn on the TV yesterday and hear that the Titans have gotten back together. And Raven was with you- what the hell is she back here for? Where's Terra? And what was with the freak out?"

"The Titans are together again, Cyborg. Look, remember after Raven attacked Terra and left, we thought it was her betraying us? Turns out Terra was behind it all. When Raven left, Slade captured her. And… well, he did some really bad things to her." He paused, then sighed. "That's too mild. Slade beat her, breaking her mind and spirit like he broke her bones. I know he did because I felt recently healed breaks when I fought her. I doubt there's a bone in her body he didn't break at some point, then healed to break again." Robin pushed down the anger that rose for his friend as he made himself speak. "He raped her. I think the trauma of it shattered her powers; at any rate he most likely kept her drugged until she wasn't a threat. It's something he would do. He had left her to die when Beast Boy found her. They came to us and Raven snapped me out of whatever I was in. And then we broke up a fight yesterday…" Robin looked at Cyborg.

"I had no idea. Man, Slade needs to get knocked down. For good." He cracked his knuckles, a building anger rising in his face. Robin didn't say anything for a moment, and then nodded. The two walked back to the main room, once again at ease with each other, having found a base to stand on.

..._To make it stand still..._

Raven groaned, opening her heavy eyes and then bolting upright, gasping for breath as sweat rolled down her face. Slade's mask leered at her, hands reaching to- A beam of moonlight pierced the nightmare and reassured her that she wasn't still in Slade's clutches. Taking a deep breath, she blinked. What? It was her room… and there was someone else there. Confused, she glanced over to the end of her bed.

Beast Boy sat, back against the bed, mouth slightly open and breathing softly. Why was he here? Then she remembered: the hallway, seeing Slade walking menacingly towards her, grabbing her, reliving the first night she had had a clear mind, realizing what he was going to do, fighting, screaming as- She cut herself off right there. _He's gone. And Beast Boy is here._ As if that thought had been a cue, he stirred, opening his eyes and turning to look at her.

_Good morning beautiful_

_How was your night?_

_Mine was wonderful with you by my side_

_And when I open my eyes and see your sweet face_

_It's a good morning beautiful day_

"Rae?" He asked sleepily. Raven smiled at him wearily.

"What are you doing here, Beast Boy? You should be in your own room, getting a good night's sleep."

"No… gotta… watch over you…" His voice trailed off. Her heart reached out to him.

"Go back to your room, Beast Boy." He shook his head, sleep washing back over him.

"Watch… Rae…" He blinked slowly and then closed his eyes, head resting on the bed. In a second he was at least half asleep. He must have slept there all night, and she knew from personal experience that it was very uncomfortable. Rising quickly, she pulled the cover off her bed and bent down, wrapping it around him. Barely awake, he tugged it- and her- closer. She pitched forward slightly, caught off guard. Beast Boy buried his face in her hair, inhaled and then let Raven go. Wondering why he did that, she was answered by his groggy whisper.

"Smells like lilacs…" With a soft smile for the teen who was helping her so much more than he knew, she climbed back up onto her bed, pillow beckoning.

"Good night, Beast Boy." As she drifted to sleep, Raven knew she heard a muffled "'Night, Rae."

_He put me in my old room,_ she thought sleepily. And somehow, it felt right.

* * *

**A/N:** Hmm. Not much to say... Except that, again, this was primarily a filler chapter. Some Beast Boy:Raven fluff, if it amounted to that... 

**Yaa:** Once again, I was so excited when I read your review- THANK YOU. You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that. I try and update every three days, usually in the evening. Sorry for making this a short chapter, and thus getting you to the pain faster- but the next part really had nothing to do this what so ever, so I cut it off. I do try and put more into it when I type it up, so there is some good news: Chapter 5 is at least two and a half back-to-back handwriten pages long, which, in my tiny print, adds up to about four/five when typed. And I'll add more, so hopefully it will be the longest chapter yet. Cyborg doesn't exactly _yell_ at Raven- but it's just as bad- or worse. I'll update soon, I promise!

**Jackdaw:** Yeah, I know, right? Well... her trials aren't over yet.


	5. Banishing Night

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS. STOP. HOW EVER. IF YOU SHOULD WISH TO BUY IT FOR ME, PLEASE DO SO. STOP.

**Warning:** Wow. Six whole pages. Hmm... there is a implied'bed' scene in this chapter- not graphic. I don't do graphic anything. Thank you. _...But the memory we have... _is a line break.

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Chapter Five: **Banishing Night**

The days went by quickly until a week had passed. There were skirmishes everyday, which was cleaning out the scum who had crept in while they were gone. Slade had not shown up yet, though he was a constant part of their thoughts. Anytime they looked at Raven, saw how different she was, they knew they had to do something. As for Raven herself, she grew more and more frustrated as, at every fight, she was unable to help. She wasn't able to go to Nevermore, either. The mirror just wouldn't respond, and she didn't know why, because Cyborg and Beast Boy had been able to go in. The worst part was the nights. She tossed and turned, nightmares crowding her. Flashes of dead bodies, Slade, her friends dying, and when she tried to wake up, she couldn't.

_Raven opened her eyes to see blackness. Pain lanced through her and she realized she was hanging. Her hands flexed and she gasped with the raw nerves' screams. The metal nails driven through her hands were the only thing that kept her from falling. The wood slivers dug into her back, piercing her like tiny knives._

Crucified

By Heaven's Gaze

Wondering what the hell is going to happen next

Hanging here

Knowing Death awaits

Just beyond those Pearly Gates

And I'm up here on a cross

Not bothering to try

Try to get off because

I guess this is what I deserve

If you really want to know

The angel's gone

The wings are too

And now I'm here reaching out to you

Poisoned tongue

Speaks words that I don't mean

Not the King of Darkness

But the chosen Queen

It was hiding inside me

All along this time

Now I'm trying just to tell you

In words and broken rhymes

Will you ever know

The pain I feel now

Oh God please don't

He doesn't deserve this hell

Let him be spared

Because he's too good…

For the likes of this place:

Hell's own abode.

_Unmoving, Raven saw the darkness part. Slade walked through, each footstep a toll of Death's Bell. He stopped a few feet away, taunting her without speaking. She clenched her jaw._

"_Slade."_

"_Raven. I have a friend for you to meet." He brought a hand around from his back. The person gripped in his hands groaned, eyes opening. _

"_Rae?" Beast Boy looked at her, blood trickling from his mouth. She inhaled sharply, ignoring the sudden pain as she strained to get to him._

"_Rae… why did you betray us?" His despairing voice cut her to the bone._

"_Beast Boy, I didn't!" But his head fell forward and he spoke no more._

"_SLADE!" She screamed, just like that day more than ten months ago when she revived after he had attacked her. The darkness swallowed the two figures and dragged her down with it…_

"Rae! Raven! Wake up!" Like a lifeline, Raven followed the voice to reality once more. Beast Boy shook her roughly and she grabbed his arms, catching her breath. Finally she gathered her courage to look into his face, afraid to see the expression of sorrow and agony that had been there before.

All she founds was worry and love. Relief was immediate.

"Beast Boy…"

"Bad nightmare, huh?" He sat next to her on the bed.

"Yeah…" The terror of the night faded abruptly at his nearness and she glanced down at her hands, trying to maintain the impartiality and distance she had had when her powers were still there. Her half-hearted attempts failed and she became more and more aware of his body besides her, the warm heat that lingered where he had touched her. "Beast Boy?" He looked at her. "You were dying in my dream. You asked me why I betrayed you." The painful, too recent memory made her bite her lip, barely noticing the pain. A gentle hand turned her towards him. Beast Boy kissed her gently.

"I could never do that to you, Raven. Never." She wrapped arms around her hesitantly as he kissed her again, shivers running through her. They were breathing heavily when it ended.

"Beast Boy?" She touched her forehead to his. "I'm scared." He looked into her eyes, green ones swallowing her in their depths, so different from everything else; everything else so contrary to previous experience.

"So am I. Let's be scared together." She retuned his kiss, heart thumping. _Let's be scared together._ The simple words drew away past pain, leaving only now, her and him, and no one else. _Together…_ And even as she let him into her soul, she shed the past for the future.

_...But the memory we have... _

Raven stirred, the sun's warm rays lingering on her face. Warm and comfortable, she breathed in the spicy aroma of Beast Boy, the familiar scent soothing her sleepy thoughts. Violet eyes opened and she smiled slightly, lifting a hand to brush green bangs out of Beast Boy's face. Then, rising slowly, she collected a loose sheet and wrapped it around herself. Her gaze scanned the room lazily, and it wasn't until her brain jumpstarted that she paused.

Beast Boy roused, puzzled at the purple sheets on the bed and the vague shape of the room, and then remembered. It was Raven's room. He sat up, seeing Raven on the edge of the bed, sheet draped around her. Then, following her line of sight, he half-gaped, half stared.

"Well," she said suddenly, breaking the silence. "It looked like something has returned."

Everything in her room was shattered into tiny pieces, except for her mirror and bed. A chuckle came from BeastBoy and he slid up next to her.

"Last night definitely solved one problem." A black rectangle formed around his mouth and silenced the changeling. Raven turned, a spark of amusement twitching at her lips and eyes. He rolled his eyes and it vanished.

"You're right at that, at least." A hint of softness entered her voice. "Thanks, Beast Boy. It helped- more than you'll ever know." He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Anything for a friend Raven, and much more for you." He glanced at the clock. "I'm not even going to bet they know. Why else would they let us sleep until 9:30?" Raven slipped off the bed and went to her closet, rummaging through it and coming out in a uniform.

"You'd better get dressed." He made a face and complied as she walked out the door. Raven picked up the note on the table beside a cooling cup of tea and tofu bacon.

_Raven and Beast Boy-_

_A little trouble at the bank. Be home soon!_

_-The Gang_

She was sipping the tea when Beast Boy came in, eyes lighting up at the sight of tofu.

"Oooo, thank the Lord that Bumblebee is able to cook tofu!" The figure at the table merely continued sipping as the bacon disappeared down his throat impossibly fast. Once he finished, she put down the now empty cup.

"Think they'd need a hand?" Beast Boy wiped his mouth, considering it.

"Nah, but it'd be fun anyway!" With that they both rose, a black cloud covering them and sinking into the ground.

_...But the memory we have... _

Dr. Light cackled as he blocked their attacks, meanwhile shoving bars of gold into a pocket that had appeared in his suit. As the smoke from Starfire and Bumblebee's last attack cleared, a black raven rose from the floor, melting away to reveal Raven and Beast Boy. The Titans paused, Starfire about to call out a greeting when the meaning of their entrance hit her. Dr. Light was oblivious to their appearance and stuffed more bars in before realizing that there were no more attacks to counter. He straightened, blinking, and then turned to follow the four's gaze. Spotting the pair standing behind him, the villain twitched at the sight of the hooded Raven. Then the foolish man _laughed_, pointing at the cloaked young woman.

"You don't scare me, witch! You don't have your powers anymore!" He continued laughing, not noticing Raven's twitch or her eyes narrowing.

"That's what you think." He had but a moment before she raised her hands, chant flowing from her lips. "Azarath, Mention, ZINTHOS!" A pipe burst from the ground, winding around the unfortunate villain and squeezing once before the glow vanished. He stared at her before keeling over in a dead faint. She relaxed and let the tension melt from her body; harnessing her powers had taken it out of her.

"Eee!" Starfire zoomed over, grabbing her almost sister in a trademark hug. "You have gotten your powers back! All is well with the world now!" Her happiness was infectious. Cyborg grabbed the repeat offender villain, a huge smile on his face, and hoisted him up.

"And I'll take this guy to the police station so Star doesn't need too. See ya'll soon!" He and Bumblebee, after giving a quick smile to Raven, left quickly.

"We must go back to the Tower and eat the Pudding of Happiness!" All of them sweat dropped.

"Uh, tea might be better." Raven said quickly. Starfire, luckily, was unaware of how hastily she had been diverted and went to float in front of the group. Raven walked besides Robin, leaning over to mutter something in his ear.

"Remember the _last_ time we had to eat one of those?" Robin suppressed a gag.

"Too clearly."

"Right after the Puppet King thing too…"

"Now _that_ was an experience I'm willing to forgo again."

"Robin?"

"Raven?"

"If you ever make her eat a Pudding of Sadness, I'll break every bone in your body."

Silence.

"Robin?"

"Uh… Raven?"

"If you let her get away, I'll still break every bone in your body."

"Raven!"

"Don't give me that crap, Robin. I've been in your mind before, and _I've_ noticed how she acts around you- even if you don't." With those threats and statement in the air, Raven let him pass her, dropping back to Beast Boy.

"I don't know why I let myself get caught up in your plans." She muttered. Beast Boy gave her a cheeky grin.

"Because you have noticed how they can't see how the other feels about them and you know as well as I do that Robin wouldn't be able to tell her how he feels. That 'teammate' thing he had- though I think we've gotten rid of that." There was silence for a few more moments. "Would you break every bone in his body?"

"I don't make empty threats, Beast Boy."

_...But the memory we have... _

It was a few days before she finally got around to trying to enter her mind. Her powers, newly returned, were fluctuating and it had taken more than a few hours to settle them even slightly. So it was with a weary face that she picked up the mirror, feeling a wave of relief as the portal to Nevermore sucked her in

The smell of strawberries overwhelmed her and she stifled the cough she felt coming on. A Raven in a pink cloak flounced out of nowhere, carrying armfuls of yellow daisies that she tossed merrily. Raven grimaced. Happy's domain was just a little _too_ happy, more than so for her. Spotting her, Happiness skipped over, grinning like an idiot. Which, frankly, to Raven she was.

"Oh, Raven! We haven't seen you so soooo long and I have such good news!" Raven stared coolly at the beaming emotion.

"What news?"

"Oh, you are-" A hand clapped over her mouth, silencing the grinning version of Raven. Knowledge kept her hand there until Happiness clamed down and threw her arms around the yellow cloaked figure. "Knowledge!" Raven blinked, it being unusual to see another emotion in Happy's territory.

"What were you going to say, Happiness?" Something was nagging at her mind. Knowledge shook her head at Happy, who was about to reply.

"She doesn't need to know right how, Happy." Happiness pouted, tears starting to well around her eyes- and then grinned.

"Then it's a secret!" She twirled, spinning off in another direction. Raven and Knowledge sweat dropped. Then, dismissing the distance girl, Raven turned to the calm Knowledge.

"What don't I need to know?" Knowledge watched her.

"Nothing right now, Raven."

Raven's eyes narrowed.

"Tell me, Knowledge." Knowledge looked at her steadily through the thick glasses, and then sighed.

"Raven, you don't need to know right now."

"Knowledge, you're holding something from me, and I want to know what it is." The emotion refused to be moved by her flat tone.

"We'll see." With that she set off down the path, not waiting for Raven to follow. Expressionless, the Titan moved after her.

One by one, passing however briefly past their domains, the emotions gathered, till they all were at the exit of Nevermore. They stood in various positions and places between her and the exit, nonchalant manner telling her something was up.

"Raven, said Knowledge, matter of fact. "You shouldn't know this quite yet, but I will tell you. This is your last chance, Raven."

"Tell me." Knowledge closed her eyes briefly. Timidity spoke up in a quavering voice.

"Raven, promise not- to do anything bad, Raven?" Raven looked at her uncomprehendingly. Knowledge spoke then.

"Raven…"

_...But the memory we have... _

It was past twilight and Raven still hadn't come out of her room. Worried about her Beast Boy went down to her room and rapped lightly on her door, not expecting it to slide open slowly. Raven sat on her bed, profile outlined by the moon's rising beams. Brows furrowing, he walked to the bed, about to speak when she looked up at him. A tear had left a trail down one cheek and he saw desperation in her eyes.

"Rae, what's the matter?" Worry for her protested his stop at the edge of the bed, but Beast Boy feared to press her now. There was the quality of a hunted, scarred and scared animal in her features. For a moment she didn't say anything, violet eyes midnight black, lit only by that strange desperation. Her hands, resting on her abdomen, trembled.

"I'm pregnant. With Slade's child."

* * *

**MUWAHAHA!** Betcha didn't see _that_ coming, did you? I have to feel sorry for her, and I'm the one who put her through this. The next chapter is incredibly short,but I just had to leave you with this cliffie, so... It'll be up by tommorow or the next day- and the scary thing is that it's the second to last chapter! The poem in Raven's nightmare was written by me. 

**Yaa:** Yeah, that's why it happened. Cyborg doesn't know what she's been through- and he wouldn't really (in my opinion) understand unless something like that happened. Starfire was the only Titan who didn't freak Raven out to an extreme, but they are so close she'd understand. I was SO HAPPY when I read your compliments- **IF THERE'S ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE READING THIS STORY, IT'S ALL DUE TO YAA THAT I'VE KEPT UP THIS STORY SO WELL.** I updated!

**Technogirl**: Thanks! I'm glad you think it's so good- keep trying with your writing!


	6. Final Choice

**Disclaimer:** ...Don't own Teen Titans... Got a problem with that?

**Warning:** Uh... nothing to go here really. Surprising, ain't it? However, I do mess with her healing powers. That's about it. _...Of the moment-no more..._ is a line break.

* * *

Chapter Six: **Final Choice**

Bumblebee and Cyborg stood, her with hands on hips and him waving his wildly, somehow butting head's against each other's choice of movies for movie night. So engrossed in their shouting match were they that they didn't notice when Robin snuck in and started 'Duke of the Doughnut'. Starfire attempted to shut the noise out by cleaning the Tower, getting the dust in random nooks and crannies only she saw. The main door slid open and first Starfire, and then Robin paused in their activities and turned their attentions towards the figures. Then, as if noticing the sudden, eerie silence, the arguing pair faltered and trailed off. The four starred at Raven and Beast Boy. His arm held the numb Titan to him, worry and shock plain on his face. Raven just walked slowly, as if detached from everything around her but Beast Boy. Her face was empty of everything except shock. Slowly they came down to the couch and Robin moved aside. She sat, arms encircling her waist, as if cold and trying to warm herself. Instinctively those standing came closer and sat or stood around the silent two. For a long moment no one spoke, and then Raven took a rasping breath.

"I am pregnant with Slade's child. The reason I didn't get pregnant before was because my healing powers were strong enough at the beginning that I was subconsciously suppressing everything but the most basic functions of my body. Near the end he had broken me so thoroughly even the back of my mind stopped working, and that's how this came about." She looked out the window to Jump City, eyes impenetrable.

"I'm going to get an abortion."

_...Of the moment-no more..._

The white clad nurse came out of the door, motioning for Raven to come in. She looked at Beast boy, her hand touching his, seeking reassurance. He tightened his arm around her wait, worry masked for a moment by his reassuring smile. Rave slid off his lap, standing with new confidence. She walked past the potted plants and into the doorway, the nurse closing the door behind her and leaving Beast Boy in the waiting room alone. He sighed a bit, ears flattening as he shifted to wait.

An hour later she came out, tear stained cheeks rubbed dry. He rose, taking her hand, and walking out, despair for the life that had been taken mingling with relief at the fact that the tension was gone from her body. There was nothing to say as they went back to the Tower.

Cinderblock, their seemingly immortal foe, roared as Bumblebee's stings bounced off of him harmlessly but blinding him regardless. His hand flew out, flying towards the caught by surprise Raven. Her eyes grew huge as she started to summon a shield, but before she could, it connected with her body, sending her into the building behind her. Limp, she slid down as Beast Boy roared, changing to smash him into the ground and leaving him motionless. He raced to her as she gasped for breath. With one of pain she grabbed her stomach, eyes shut. It had only been a few days since the abortion, but, against all their protests, had insisted on coming. Her lover picked her up and she opened her eyes slightly, a smile flitting around her lips at his face even as her breathing became more ragged.

"Let's go," she whispered, black surrounding all six and holding Cinderblock still. It flowed into the ground, reappearing at the Tower common room. Raven was put carefully down on the couch, an icy circle forming as she concentrated. A moment later Raven relaxed, only a shadow in her eyes. "I'll be fine," she said to Robin's worried face and Star's near-to-tears expression. "Just- need a moment." Hearing the request to be alone, they dispersed, Beast Boy last. Raven smiled at him, but deep inside knew the truth. Regret filled the Titan and she hid it quickly, longing to be able to cry. But she knew what she had to do. For now, though, she could enjoy what moments she had left.

_...Of the moment-no more..._

Raven lifted her bag, pausing by the door. Closing her eyes, she raised the icy barrier around her heart. Violet eyes opened and saw Beast Boy inside, making tofu sandwiches to devour. "I'm leaving, Beast Boy." He paused, hand and sandwich halfway to his mouth.

"When are you coming back?" He caught sight of her bag just as she replied.

"Never." Her cloak swished as she turned, starting to walk away. The tiger knocked her onto her back, pinning her under it's weight. Beast Boy stared at her, the same look of betrayal in his eyes that had been in hers so long ago.

"Raven- why? Why do you have to leave?" His simple questions were filled with complex emotions, each one burning her like a brand. She met him eye to eye, willing him understand even as anguish flooded her.

"You have to trust me on this, Beast Boy." For long moments he searched her face. Then, pain not physical in his face, he nodded. She lifted herself slightly from the floor, their lips meeting in one last, passionate lock that imparted everything they couldn't say. He moved off of her and she got to her feet, trying not to tremble with the pent up feelings she kept trapped.

"Goodbye, Beast Boy."

"Goodbye, Raven. I… I love you."

"I love you too, Beast Boy." With that the former Titan left, refusing to look back as she flew off, refusing to let the tears and sobs escape until she landed hours later, collapsing on a rocky beach. Pressing hands to her stomach, she let the tears fall.

"I love you Beast Boy..."

* * *

And it's a did I just update twice in the same day moment here folks. I went out on an hour long walk with a windbreaker, a hat, a shirt, a pair of pants and some boots. Came back with two very numb and forstbitten hands- and yet I still managed to type this up! So proud of myself! And theDuke of the Doughnut thing? Better not to ask.Anyway, anyone have any guesses as to why Raven left? _I_ know, but that doesn't count. Warning for next chapter: I am seriously going to screw up everything that I can about the laws of nature, so be prepared for anything... Hehehehehe... (And that means that this is NOT the end. You'd know if it was the end.) 

**Yaa:** A strike sounds good. I brought the signs! **Holds up signs **I think this unexpected update might make you happier, if that's possible. And the fun (for me) and pain (for Raven) isn't over yet. Let's just say- what you were expecting may come true. I know, but when I was talking to another author, she told me that it's always the good ones that review, and that they're the only ones worth reading. 'Quality over quantity'. Thanks for making my day.

**Technosgirl: **Yeah, it even surprised me when my pencil just started writing down the last line. I was like- where'd that come from? Updated very quickly! Enjoy!


	7. Me 'nd Emily

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Titans. Get over it. I already have. **Holds up bill for intensive therapy.**

_...Will be in our hearts..._is a line break.

Well folks, it's been nice writing. One quote comes to mind, from a song I heard once:

"It's like the end of era..." From Suzy Bogguss's Saying Goodbye to a Friend.

Maybe it's mellow dramatic- but it's the first time I've ever done a chapter story, and had such a good response to any submission. The inspiration for this chapter comes from Me and Emily by takimiromy. All thanks to Yaa, who's stuck with me from Chapter One and made my day again and again- THANK YOU. And so, reader, please move on to the final chapter of Maelstrom.

* * *

Chapter Seven: **Me 'n Emily**

Floorboards' filled with baby toys an' empty coke  
bottles an' coffee cups  
Drivin' through the rain with no radio,  
Tryin' not to wake her up.  
Cell 'phone says "low battery",  
God, what if I break down?  
I'm just lookin' for an exit with a lotta lights,  
A safe little interstate town.

Raven cursed under her breath as a car cut her off, slamming on the brakes to avoid hitting him. Emily stirred and Raven glanced immediately in the rear view mirror out of habit. She moved her mouth and then stilled, sleeping once more. With a sigh Raven returned her gaze to the road and almost immediately slammed on the brakes again. "Damn drivers." With one hand she grabbed her cell phone, glancing at it. The purple screen read "Low Battery". "Crap." Steering with one hand she pulled onto an exit ramp, not really paying attention to the exit number. After a few more Cokes and checks on Emily she realized where she was headed. "Damn!" Unable to control her anger at Fate's last monkey wrench in her life, Raven felt the _tickle_ on the back of her mind that meant Emily was awake and starting to get upset. Not here- Anywhere but here, because someone might recognize the signs of her power- somewhere else _please._

Just a cheap hotel,  
With a single bed,  
And cable TV  
Is good enough for me an' Emily.

"Em, go back to sleep. Mom's just being a little out of it." Her daughter's eyes blink innocently and then relax as Raven forced herself to be calm. Good. Whenever Raven got upset or mad, her daughter acted as a release mechanism and unleashed her power- but much stronger. That was the trick. They had found that out the hard way. That was why it was more important than ever for Raven to keep her emotions under wrap. But this was almost too much- damn it. On a one-way road she found herself going to the _one_ place she didn't want to go. She'd have to deal with it though. Somehow.

Some day, when she's old enough,  
She's gonna start askin' questions about him.  
Some kid at school brings his Dad for show an' tell,  
An' gets her little mind a-wonderin'  
"Where's my Daddy? Do I have one?  
"Does he not love me like you do?"  
Oh, maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us,  
An' I'll tell her when she's old enough to know the truth.

What would happen when Emily started to ask about her dad? How could she explain that her dad didn't even know she existed? Em and her sister had been born on a country road, no one there but Raven, screaming her agony to the empty wilderness. She had held them both in her arms, exhausted but innerly elated she hadn't gone through with the abortion. Something had told her not to, and while Raven had hesitated to deceive her friends, she knew what their reactions would be.

That was why, when Cinderblock had hurt her over five years ago, Raven had feared she had miscarried and found out that she was carrying not one, but _two_ unborn. That was what had held her for the two weeks after the battle. But, knowing she had to make a decision, Raven had. It hurt, bitterly and unfairly even now, which is why it didn't help that she was going to where she was. Inadvertently so, but still…

Will it break her heart?  
Will she understand,  
That I had to leave?  
That's what was best for me an' Emily.

So many reasons to leave… Slade in most. Lord, would her child understand? Could she possibly comprehend why? Saddened, and then annoyed at herself for there thoughts, Raven shook her head. She'd tell Em the truth when the girl asked, but only then. Emily's power would need a lot of training to control, and Raven didn't want to think about what would happen if she unleashed them without control. It didn't help her mood at that point that the car chugged, motor making grinding noises as she jerked the car to the shoulder of the lonely winding road. Snarling, she parked and yanked out the key, climbing out of the car to open the hood.

"Damn, damn, damn!" Biting her lip Raven studied the engine. What did she remember about motors from helping Cyborg? She rolled up the dark green sleeves of her sweatshirt and leaned in., head disappearing as she muttered in the depths of mechanical contraptions. Why now? Barely on the outskirts of Jump City and the damn car died. Just her luck. First running from Slade, all this time, and then returning to the place with the most painful memories? Absentmindedly she rose, hood falling over her head, looking up at the cloudless sky and giving Fate 'The Bird'.

"Need some help?" The amused voice came from behind her and she spun, hands falling into their places at her sides in a defensive position. The stranger laughed, holding up his hands. "I didn't mean to startle you, Miss. Merely thought you needed a hand." Raven stared.

Tall and muscular, he had dark green hair that looked wind tossed, dancing green eyes and light green skin. It was Beast Boy- but truly matured? She swallowed in a suddenly dry mouth.

"Where did you come from?" Somehow those weren't the first words she'd dreamed of saying to him, but something was different. He looked slightly puzzled, but gestured towards the woods.

"Merely taking a run through the woods, ma'am. Say," he leaned in slightly, "You aren't from around here, are you?" Raven shook her head, numb. He didn't recognize her! Oh, Fate deserved more than a flick off!

"Ah. My name is Changeling, one of the Titans, and proud to be of service. So, do you need a hand?" Raven choked down a wave of irrational anger and just spoke, words bitter to even her ears as she turned back to the car.

"No. I don't need any help; I didn't want to go _there,_" and her chin thrustin the direction of Jump City from under the hood spoke eloquently, "Anyway. Thanks, but you can go away now, Changeling."

Big rigs are throwin' rain on my windshield,  
An' I feel like they're laughin' at me.

Changeling frowned, looking at this strange woman more closely- which was hard because she had her stiff back towards him. She seemed so familiar, but he couldn't place that face in the shadows of her hood. Shadows… No. There was way- But Fate had thrown them more twists than this.

He stepped forward, placing a hand on the woman's shoulder and feeling her tenseness and surprise. Without another hesitation, turned her around. With his free hand he pulled the hood off and stared.

Tears streaked their ways down her face, violet eyes glittering with pain. Long violet hair fell past her shoulders and the ruby red jewel glinted on her grey forehead.

"Raven?" He breathed, unbelieving. She shook like a leaf under his hands. "Raven. You said you were never going to come back- I had given up hope- Oh Lord. And I didn't even recognize you-" Fearful, he watched her face. She swallowed.

"Beast – Boy-" Her voice cracked as she lifted a hand and touched his face, feather light.

Fin'lly the storm is lettin' up,  
An' the mornin' is breakin' free.

Moved by some impulse neither fully understood, she threw her arms around him as he leaned down, a hesitant reassurance that this wasn't a dream found as their lips met and deepened the kiss.

"Oh God, Raven-" That _tickle_ itched at her mind and she pressed a hand to his lips, eyes hoping even as they sparkled with mischief. Raven steeped away, sliding open the door. Changeling stared.

A little girl, around five, looked brightly at him, light green hair framing brilliant green eyes and a gleaming black chakra. She smiled, a bit embarrassed, and then clapped herhands together and looked at Raven. Raven smiled softly.

"Say hello to your daughter, Emily."

It's a brand new day,  
It's a second chance.  
Yesterday is just a memory,  
For me an' Emily.  
Ah.

There was a startled pause, and then Changeling moved forward, unbuckling her from her car seat and swinging her about in his arms. "Why hello little one! Aren't you the cutest thing on God's green Earth?" Emily giggled, and then quieted, a smile playing at her lips. _So like your mother _. He thought. Raven watched Changeling as he turned to her.

"You knew, didn't you? That something was up?" He nodded.

"I put two and two together and got five. After that fight with Cinderblock, there was more than just normal pain there and you were really worried. When you were leaving I noticed your waist was thicker than before and more so than normal. And then-" He shrugged. "Just a feeling. But you said she's _my_ daughter. How?" Raven became expressionless for a moment, and then took Emily back and held her on her hip, letting the girl play with her hair.

"My body rhythms after I got away from Slade were highly irregular, because of my suppressing them. Even though when I got away I was somewhere around 3 months pregnant, something got screwed and, well-" She shrugged with one shoulder and bounced Emily lightly. "I had two children instead of one. One yours and one _his_." The word dripped off her tongue. "Emily grew fast enough to be the same size a Hailey, and they were born at the age of 10 months. Something in my demon blood, I guess. For a while I was content. Then, six months after they were born, Slade showed up. I couldn't fight him off, because he had back ups to distract me. It was then I found out Emily can amplify my power greatly- but by then Slade was gone, and Hailey with him. I've searched and in turn run from him since." Her breath hitched at the thought of her stolen daughter. "Five years she's been with him… and I'm so afraid… And that's my story," Raven finished after a moment. "Somehow I found my way back here. Completely by accident." Changeling nodded.

"The others took your leaving pretty harshly, and the general consensus was that if you wanted to leave, then go and don't come back." Raven turned her head away, accepting the brutal words. Emily crooned softly, worried, and Raven reassured her. Changeling put his arms around her, smiling at Emily even as he imparted the news. "I don't know if anyone else figured it out; maybe Starfire, because you two were so close. And the Titans went on, though much was different. Starfire and Robin, or should I say Nightwing? They're engaged, but Starfire refuses to hold the wedding until you come back." Raven turned her head to look at him, startled and confused. He chuckled. "Robin set a date though; if you didn't return by-" He frowned in thought, then muffled a laugh, "Today, they would have it without you. Isn't Star in luck? Bumblebee and Cyborg are about three years into the dating relationship now, but Robin and I have been prepping Cyborg to ask the question. He's so nervous that we think she'll do it instead." Raven laughed and Emily giggled, clapping her hands.

"Raven, we'll find Hailey. Please, say you'll come back?" The violet eyed woman looked once more at Emily, seeing her other daughter, and then nodded.

"We can't let Star go without her best friend at her wedding, can we?" Changeling grinned as they exchanged a quick kiss. "All right. Let's go." She look at Em. "Ready?" The child sobered, nodding. A giant black and silver raven rose into the sky, a green one following close behind.

_...Will be in our hearts..._

"Starfire, you know Changeling said Raven wasn't coming back. We have to accept her wishes." Nightwing stood in front of the alien, frustration obvious in the exasperated words. Star hung her head, a sigh escaping her lips.

"I cannot believe friend Raven would not come back! She is my sister- does that not mean anything?" There was a moment of silence.

"Star, she isn't coming back, for you or anyone else." His words were soft and regretful as tears started to form in her green eyes.

"_Robin_, don't make me follow up on that promise…" A silver and black bird rose from the floor, twisting apart in vaporous strands.

"And I'd always come back Star." Raven stood, one hand on her hip, the other holding a giggling girl. Long violet hair fell down, same color eyes glinting defiantly in a pale face. She was dressed in a dark green sweatshirt, sleeves rolled up and hood down, and a pair of blue jeans. Starfire and Nightwing gaped.

"Raven? You have come back to us? For good?" Her pitiful tone questioned whether the person in front of her was real or not.

"Of course Starfire." With a squeal the red head launched herself at the former Titan, crushing her in a tight hug. "Star- Emily-" Raven gasped. Starfire drew back.

"Is this?" She looked at Raven. Changeling stepped up from behind her.

"She's my daughter." Starfire blinked, then clapped her hands together. Grabbing Raven's free hand, she dragged the unbalanced woman forward, smiling at Nightwing.

"Raven did come back!" Nightwing was still staring at Raven but nodded.

"Alright, Star. You were right." Raven righted herself, still holding Emily. She mouthed, 'I'll tell you later.' He nodded shortly. "Do you want to go tell Cy and Bumblebee?" Raven hesitated.

"Sure." She looked into Emily's eyes for a moment and then handed her to Changeling and turned, hugging Starfire briefly. Without another word she walked out of the room.

_...Will be in our hearts..._

Cyborg grunted under the T-Car, loud clanking noises signifying he was seriously redoing something. "Wrench, Bumblebee?" Before she could move, it flew up and into his waiting hand.

"Thanks, Bee." He paused, catching sight of her stunned face. Then, looking behind her, his jaw dropped.

"Raven?" His voice was incredulous. Raven gave a half grin.

"Hey Cy. Long time no see."

_...Will be in our hearts..._

Raven leaned against Changeling's shoulder, for the moment at ease. As the sun set, he slipped a hand around her waist, breathing into her violet hair.

"We'll find Hailey. And then we can take Slade down. For good." He said softly. She looked up at him, violet eyes still sad, but no longer hidden by a mask.

"I know." For now, she could hold on and wait, knowing her friends and lover were with her no matter where she went or how many times she had to leave. The sun's dying beams slipped away as the wind ruffled her hair and she turned her face into it, letting the tenseness she had for so long go. There was always tomorrow.

_I'll find you, Hailey. We'll find you and bring you home, safe._

and time goes by

against our will

there's nothing we can do

to make it stand still

but the memory we have

of the moment- no more

will be in our hearts

forever.

there's always tomorrow.

**Fin**

* * *

That's it, people. The end of Maelstrom. I'm going to come out with it's sequel (Because there's no way I'm leaving the Hailey problem hanging) Upheaval sometime within the month. I need to write it out (Maelstrom took me two weeks to write), check it over and then type it up, so a month sounds about right. In the meantime I'm going to be posting some one shots and mini-series I've collected while I've been writing everything else, so look forward to those soon. Anyone want to see Starfire's wedding? It won't show up in Upheaval, but I might just add it on as a bonus chapter here. Let me know. 

**Technogirl:** This chapter's dedicated to answering your question of why did she leave- so I hope you liked it! Thanks for the compliment.

**Ravenrocs4eva:** Yes! I've snagged another reviewer! This is, as you can see from the author's notes, the last chapter. Was your guess right?

**Yaa: **And thus it ends. I hope you were satisfied- well, as much as you could be, because I've promised the sequel up in a month or less, and somehow I get the feeling you're going to be telling me to post it as often as you can... Sorry for distressing you unnecessarily; all I can say is thank God for snow. It's the only reason I was able to type this up today. I just added another twist and hope that you approve, or just don't out hate it. And I update the day you review- what can I say? Praise makes fingers type faster. I hope I'll see one of your reviews in Upheaval!


	8. BONUS

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans.

**Author's Note:** I added this onto the story, because it didn't make much sense just sitting there as a oneshot.

**BONUS**

It had caused three completely terrified men, five shattered windows, and one crying child. All it had taken to solve the problem was a heart broken look from Starfire.

"Oh all right," Raven grumbled, "I'll wear the dress."

Now, as she walked down the aisle as the maid of honor, she wished instead she had burned it.

Pink was DEFINITELY not her color.

Changeling, from Nightwing's side as the 'best man', grinned at her. She shot him a very annoyed look and grinned with grim pleasure as he flinched. Of course, as soon as she turned and saw Starfire make her entrance, Raven and everyone else forgot about the pink.

Her green eyes were framed by the ceremonial head piece, besides which two red locks had been allowed to hang down; the rest of her smooth hair was gathered up. The silver and steel gray dress was stunning- after that there really wasn't much to say. The brilliant smile had the entire male population watching wishing they could kill Nightwing to get her to smile like that for _them_… Until Raven's narrow eyed glare out through the filming cameras made them think better of it.

By popular agreement, the Tameranians had been advised to allow the Earthlings to do the music. The Titans (excluding Starfire) had been the hardest advocators for that. Of course, much negotiation had gone on in the six months before the marriage; Raven and Changeling had been glad to let the two 'showy' Titans take all the attention. Theirs was to be a quiet, simple ceremony conducted in a small chapel just out of Jump City.

Too soon, after much fanfare, ado, and general happiness, they came to the part everyone (or almost everyone) like best.

"You may now kiss the bride." Nightwing turned to his wife, smiled, and kissed her soundly. The audience broke out cheering.

At the reception dinner for the heroes and close friends who had come, Cyborg rose to his feet.

"Though I may not be the 'Best Man', I think I am at least the best robot. So, as a friend, comrade, and fellow married man, I would like to propose a toast." The assembled fighters lifted their cups after he did.

"To the newlyweds!" His cry was echoed by all those there, as with smiles on their faces and cheer in their hearts, they dug into the bountiful serving of food. (Earth's top chefs had declared that teaching the Tameranian cooks would be their greatest challenge- and from the looks of it, they had succeeded. Somewhat.)

Up on the roof later that night, Nightwing looked out over the harbor as Starfire leaned against him, arms tucked around her sides.

"Nightwing?" She ventured cautiously. He had that 'thinking' look on his face, and as the alien had learned long ago, sometimes it was best not to interrupt his thoughts.

"Starfire, ever since the Titans were started, I'd always wished for something like today. But you were always… out of my league, so to speak. So why?" Those masked eyes turned to her, and her breath caught in her throat. Even being unable to see his eyes, she felt the simple need of the question.

"Because, Nightwing, I love you." And the answer was that simple. She blinked, startled, when he laughed softly, putting his head in his hands. "Are you 'o k', Nightwing?"

He lifted his head; turned, and looked at her. For a moment she wondered what that emotion in his eyes was- and then it hit her as she leaned the slightest bit forward, fingers touching the exposed skin hesitantly.

_She could see his eyes._ Her emerald eyes searched his, absorbing every detail in the crystal blue irises.

"They are…" Starfire started to say, and then stopped, a happy smile on her lips. There were not, she decided, enough words in this second language of hers. So, using an age old solution, the princess leaned forward and kissed him.

Raven, Cyborg and Changeling closed the roof door very, very quietly. They glanced at each other, grinned knowingly, and then sauntered off downstairs.

Out of the corner of their eyes, all three saw the sudden flicker of what might have been bat wings… and then nothing.


End file.
